08/09/2023
God’s Top 10 Life Hacks
This coming Sunday we will start a new sermon series, God’s Top 10 Life Hacks. We are going to look at the most important rules for living in Western history—The Ten Commandments. Rather than thinking of them as onerous commands, we will try and understand these instructions from God’s perspective. In God’s eyes these ten fence posts are given to us in order to make our lives richer and fuller by making it as clear as possible what is in bounds and what is out of bounds in relationships.
Remember, these commandments were given to the Hebrew people as they were leaving 400 years of slavery in Egypt behind them. They didn’t have to figure out the best way to live because they were told what to do, who to worship, and what they could and could not do from sun up to sun down. Left to trial and error it would have taken Israel generations to learn who they were and how to live in community with one another. So God shared a series of short cuts, a series of life hacks, that they could learn and start following right away.
In other words, “You may never have thought of it before, but this is how you keep your heart free, your integrity intact—how you keep your family intact, and your neighbors happy. If you can follow these 10 principles, then you will be ready to receive all that I, your God, have promised to give you.”
This Sunday I’m going to talk about honoring parents why that is so important to the God of Jesus Christ. But I do think it is imperative to recognize that there a great many children who have been disappointed, neglected, and even abused by those who gave them birth. There are exceptions to this commandment and it is crucial to be up front about it. The following excerpt from a book I’ve been reading does a good job of offering a disclaimer. I thought I would share it with you.
Exceptions to Rules: When Parents Act Dishonorably
“The federal Administration for Children & Families estimated that in 2017, 674,000 children were victims of maltreatment. In total, 74.9 percent of victims were neglected, 18.3 percent were physically abused, and 8.6 percent were sexually abused. And 1,720 children died from maltreatment by their parents that year. What do the authors of scripture say about those parents?
“Do we honor them? No, we don’t honor abusers. In fact, I don’t think the fifth commandment is written to address abusive parents or neglectful and harmful people. They are the exception to this rule. When we set boundaries as adults in how we will relate to parents who were unloving, or when law enforcement removes children from abusive homes, it is not a violation of the fifth commandment but a recognition that abusive or neglectful parents are no longer acting as legitimate parents. Let me be clear: The command to honor our parents is not a requirement to continue to be abused by someone who acts in ways that are inconsistent with a legitimate and loving parent.
“If you were abused, neglected, or otherwise hurt by your parents, there are other precepts in scripture you might turn to, and there are therapists specializing in abuse or neglect who can help you find healing. Your pastor might also be of help as you consider the theological questions and seek to find healing in your faith.
“Part of that healing may come in practicing Jesus’s call: “Love your enemies. Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who mistreat you.” (Luke 6:27–28) The love Jesus speaks about in this passage is not affection, nor an ongoing relationship. It does not mean excusing the inexcusable or saying the abuse or neglect did not matter. It is a spiritual exercise that often allows the one harmed to rise above the pain and find release. It often increases the likelihood of forgiveness—which, I’ll repeat, is not excusing the inexcusable but choosing to release the bitterness and pain so that the abuser can no longer have power over you.
“Recognizing, then, that there are exceptions to the rule to honor our parents, and that your family situation might be an exception, let’s move on to explore the command as it applies to most people—the call to honor our father and our mother.”
From Words of Life, by Adam Hamilton, using the Kindle version, pages 1183-1184.
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