No Stigma or Shame Around Suicide

The month of September is National Suicide Prevention month. I was reminded of that this week as I, along with other United Methodist clergy in Indiana, were informed that this week one of our own clergy, 24 year old Rev. Jarrid Wilson, took his own life. This leaves me with much sadness that Jarrid was experiencing such hopelessness that led to this result and such sadness for his family and friends who now grief his loss. 

I know that in the past that mental illness and suicide have carried a stigma and shame and I hope that all of us know it is time we get past that. I read on NAMI site (National Association for Mental Illness):

1. 46% of people who die by suicide have known mental health conditions...many undiagnosed.

2. 1 in 5 adults will experience Mental Illness this year. 

3. This is a public health issue--not a crime issue

As a pastor please know that any time you have suspicion of someone pondering suicide, call myself or another pastor. It is never too soon---it is never a bother---but it can be too late.

Never, never hesitate to ask the awkward question of someone who seems to be considering suicide--are you thinking about suicide? Do you have a plan? Will you promise to call me first? Persons who have reported being in that place and being asked these questions share that it was a relief to be asked in a caring way. Ask and refer.

#BeThe1To

As a pastor, I want you to know that as Christians there is to be no shame or stigma around a suicide. Instead, this is a tragic moment in a person’s and family’s life and they need your love. What can you say to them? Please avoid the unhelpful platitudes we hear said and instead, say nothing other than “I love you”. And don’t promise to be there in the days ahead...those are empty words. Just be there for them with your prayers, cards and your presence.

I share also with you a quote from the UMC Book of Resolutions what we know to be the truth about this topic:

“The Apostle Paul, rooted in his experience of the resurrected Christ, affirms the power of divine love to overcome the divisive realities of human life, including suicide: For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38-39) Paul's words are indeed sources of hope and renewal for persons who contemplate suicide, as well as for those who grieve the death of friends and family members who have committed suicide. These words affirm that in those human moments when all seems lost, all may yet be found through full faith. A Christian perspective on suicide thus begins with an affirmation of faith: Suicide does not separate us from the love of God. Unfortunately, the church throughout much of its history has taught just the opposite: that suicide is an unforgivable sin. As a result, Christians, acting out of a sincere concern to prevent suicide, often have contradicted Christ's call to compassion.”

I have always said that God grieves with the one who lost all hope including their own life but God’s love will always be there. God grieves as we grieve. 

And finally, know that there are good resources and support available. Use them. They are there for us.

Suicide Prevention Line     800-273-8255

NAMI   National Association for Mental Illness   (317)925-9399 namiindiana.org

Your pastor and friend, Patti