02/03/2026
One More Piece of Unsolicited Advice
I had one too many examples yesterday. Here’s the "Ask Pastor Tim" scenario that didn’t make the cut for Sunday’s sermon.
Dear Pastor Tim,
I found out my partner has been seeing someone else on the side. They were not only cheating on me but were actively covering it up as well. They’re apologetic now, but my trust is shattered. Everyone tells me I’d be crazy to forgive them. I didn’t cause this. Why should I be the one to carry the weight?
So many people today have been through something like this. (I sometimes wonder if we’re not in the middle of an epidemic of infidelity.) Not only do we empathize, but we understand that betrayal cuts deep, and forgiveness in this situation feels like self-betrayal.
Again, let’s consider some healthy advice first:
- You can set the perimeters on how you do or do not intend to move forward
- Forgiveness does not mean offering trust immediately
- You can forgive and still walk away from this particular relationship
And whatever you choose to do, you forgive.
Not as a shortcut to healing—but as a refusal to let bitterness write the final chapter of your life. Many couples have worked through infidelity and maintained or even strengthened their relationship, but the opportunity to do that takes a lot of counseling and depends on a variety of factors we don’t have time to go into this morning.
The rule of thumb is this: the closer you are to someone the more damaging hurtful behavior or words will be. When you are in love with someone and they with you—there is trust and commitment and vulnerability in ways that aren’t there for any other relationship. For love to get the chance to grow deep and strong enough to endure, there has to be a lavish amount of patience, forgiveness and mercy. Not less. But more—lots more. The higher the commitment, the greater the love, the more asking for forgiveness rises to the top.
Archived Posts
The Perfect Church
There is an old joke about the perfect church. We talked just a little about the perfect pastor, but turnabout is fair play. It goes like this:
The Clothes You Wear
Sunday I talked about Joshua the High Priest having his filthy clothing replaced by a cleaned and beautiful garments. I also used the illustration of a boy becomes a dragon—who ‘wears’ dragon scales—and is stripped of those scales in order to be restored to a boy. In fact, I could have done the whole sermon around all the clothing imagery in scripture.
What just missed the cut for Sunday’s Sermon
Naaman’s servants may actually become one of the hidden gems of the sermon. They say, essentially: “If the prophet had told you to do something difficult, you would have done it.”
One of the Longest Benedictions I Ran Out of Time to Share
Maybe you know the story of how Joseph and Mary accidentally left Jesus at the gas station on their way home from Jerusalem. Well, not the gas station bathroom in Jesus’ case. Joe and Mary are far down the road before they realize Jesus isn’t with them...
So many quips and quotes...
So little time to preach
I wonder what Mary and Martha’s phones might look like:
* Martha = the open browser with 27 tabs
* Mary = the single window that matters
* Psalm 46 = God saying, “Close the tabs.”
Quotable Outtakes That Didn’t Make the Sermon This Week
“When you try to control everything, you don’t just exhaust yourself—you quietly replace trust in God with trust in you.” & more
There is a challenge when it comes to preaching the Word of God.
Preachers are called to open up and interpret the word—inspired and written down thousands of years ago—and make it relevant to a very different world. On top of that there’s a degree of persuasion that goes along with the process.