02/03/2026
One More Piece of Unsolicited Advice
I had one too many examples yesterday. Here’s the "Ask Pastor Tim" scenario that didn’t make the cut for Sunday’s sermon.
Dear Pastor Tim,
I found out my partner has been seeing someone else on the side. They were not only cheating on me but were actively covering it up as well. They’re apologetic now, but my trust is shattered. Everyone tells me I’d be crazy to forgive them. I didn’t cause this. Why should I be the one to carry the weight?
So many people today have been through something like this. (I sometimes wonder if we’re not in the middle of an epidemic of infidelity.) Not only do we empathize, but we understand that betrayal cuts deep, and forgiveness in this situation feels like self-betrayal.
Again, let’s consider some healthy advice first:
- You can set the perimeters on how you do or do not intend to move forward
- Forgiveness does not mean offering trust immediately
- You can forgive and still walk away from this particular relationship
And whatever you choose to do, you forgive.
Not as a shortcut to healing—but as a refusal to let bitterness write the final chapter of your life. Many couples have worked through infidelity and maintained or even strengthened their relationship, but the opportunity to do that takes a lot of counseling and depends on a variety of factors we don’t have time to go into this morning.
The rule of thumb is this: the closer you are to someone the more damaging hurtful behavior or words will be. When you are in love with someone and they with you—there is trust and commitment and vulnerability in ways that aren’t there for any other relationship. For love to get the chance to grow deep and strong enough to endure, there has to be a lavish amount of patience, forgiveness and mercy. Not less. But more—lots more. The higher the commitment, the greater the love, the more asking for forgiveness rises to the top.
Archived Posts
So many quips and quotes...
So little time to preach
I wonder what Mary and Martha’s phones might look like:
* Martha = the open browser with 27 tabs
* Mary = the single window that matters
* Psalm 46 = God saying, “Close the tabs.”
Quotable Outtakes That Didn’t Make the Sermon This Week
“When you try to control everything, you don’t just exhaust yourself—you quietly replace trust in God with trust in you.” & more
There is a challenge when it comes to preaching the Word of God.
Preachers are called to open up and interpret the word—inspired and written down thousands of years ago—and make it relevant to a very different world. On top of that there’s a degree of persuasion that goes along with the process.
What Jessica Really Meant to Say in Her Sermon…
When Jessica or Rick or a guest preacher takes the pulpit it’s hard for me to write a One More Thing Blog. I can’t share with you what didn’t make it into the sermon because I have no idea, not having written or delivered it.
Jesus Keeps On Ruining Funerals!
I didn’t have anything this last week that didn’t end up in the sermon. No catchy illustrations that didn’t make the cut. No theological insights that slowed down the main point. No one can ruin a funeral like Jesus. Told as I saw it and that was it. So I did some quick research and I thought I’d share just a reminder of what Easter is all about.
When I Don’t Get To Give My Benediction
Yesterday’s sermon talked about how we are in the thrall of self-centeredness—caught in a system that rewards those who climb to the top, even when you have to climb on the back of others. I talked about a famous sermon by Dr. Martin Luther King, ....
Some Good Quotes that I Didn’t Get To Last Sunday
I have been working out of Adam Hamilton’s excellent book, Why Did Jesus Have to Die? And when I find something that says what I want to say more succinctly and expressively than I can, I like to quote it...