08/26/2024
So Is People Pleasing Such a Bad Thing?
This is a fair question, based on Sunday’s sermon. Wanting to make others happy isn’t a bad thing in itself. It’s what it does to the one who is compelled to please—someone with a compulsion to win the approval of others. When my needs and wants don’t get attended to, then it also gives rise to resentment toward those I am trying to please. Making your happiness my responsibility is a self-destructive tendency with leads to all kinds of “stinking thinking.” You are responsible for your happiness. I can add to it, but it is not my responsibility.
For instance, an approval addict or a people pleaser would expect--in return from their sacrifices--a series of shoulds. ‘If I act this way, then they should act this other way in return.’ Because a people pleaser has no control over how other people respond to them, they may end up living in a constant state of anxiety and disappointment when those ‘shoulds’ go unfulfilled.
Let me give you some examples:
- Because I work so hard on behalf of others they should appreciate, approve, and like me.
- Because I have been so nice and kind to them, Others should be kind and caring toward me
- Because I would go to any length to avoid anger, conflict, or confrontation with them, other people should never be angry with me.
That’s all well and good, but these are not expectations that are shared by everyone. When I do my bit and you don’t do yours—at least in my mind—then I’m going to seethe with anger and bitterness.
God wants us to please him—to live in reciprocity with our family members, brothers and sisters in Christ, friends and neighbors. To trust that with Christ all things are possible: living for ourselves as we look to the needs of others.
Archived Posts
What just missed the cut for Sunday’s Sermon
Naaman’s servants may actually become one of the hidden gems of the sermon. They say, essentially: “If the prophet had told you to do something difficult, you would have done it.”
One of the Longest Benedictions I Ran Out of Time to Share
Maybe you know the story of how Joseph and Mary accidentally left Jesus at the gas station on their way home from Jerusalem. Well, not the gas station bathroom in Jesus’ case. Joe and Mary are far down the road before they realize Jesus isn’t with them...
So many quips and quotes...
So little time to preach
I wonder what Mary and Martha’s phones might look like:
* Martha = the open browser with 27 tabs
* Mary = the single window that matters
* Psalm 46 = God saying, “Close the tabs.”
Quotable Outtakes That Didn’t Make the Sermon This Week
“When you try to control everything, you don’t just exhaust yourself—you quietly replace trust in God with trust in you.” & more
There is a challenge when it comes to preaching the Word of God.
Preachers are called to open up and interpret the word—inspired and written down thousands of years ago—and make it relevant to a very different world. On top of that there’s a degree of persuasion that goes along with the process.
What Jessica Really Meant to Say in Her Sermon…
When Jessica or Rick or a guest preacher takes the pulpit it’s hard for me to write a One More Thing Blog. I can’t share with you what didn’t make it into the sermon because I have no idea, not having written or delivered it.
Jesus Keeps On Ruining Funerals!
I didn’t have anything this last week that didn’t end up in the sermon. No catchy illustrations that didn’t make the cut. No theological insights that slowed down the main point. No one can ruin a funeral like Jesus. Told as I saw it and that was it. So I did some quick research and I thought I’d share just a reminder of what Easter is all about.